Would You Like Fries With That?

I am in no way a fan of the government interfering in any area of my life. At best they are a necessary evil. I pay my taxes like everyone else and that is about all the interaction I want with them; generally, I feel that the farther away they stay the better off we all are. Having said that, though, I feel that it should be mandated by Federal law that EVERYONE -- and I do mean EVERYONE -- at some point in their adult lives work for one full year in a minimum wage service job -- convenience store clerk, fast food cashier, stocking shelves in a supermarket, etc. There should be allowed no possibility of quitting and/ or seeking greener pastures for any reason until the time obligation has been fulfilled. Furthermore, if the employee calls off work two consecutive times or more than four valid times in the alloted year for any reason other than bodily injury or the death of an immediate family member, a penalty period of one month should be tacked on to the original year; and, frankly, it should double for each additional infraction. During this 12-month tenure, the "employee" should be subject to the same rules, requirements, and restrictions as his/ her co-workers. Regardless of whether this new-hire was formerly a sanitation worker, student, or CEO of a multi-billion dollar multi-national corporation, no special consideration or privelege should be afforded.

Harsh? Maybe. Unrealistic? Arguable. Tongue in cheek? Only slightly. Does it serve a greater purpose? Most definitely.

For better or worse, jobs like those described above comprise the bulk of the American work force. In fact, it has been estimated that the fast food industry alone is by far the largest single group of low-wage workers in the United States. The vast majority of those workers are teenagers and young adults, quite literally the future of our nation. The US has approximately 3.5 million fast food workers; compare that to about 1.5 million migrant farm workers. The turnover rate for minimum wage service industry jobs is among the highest in the American economy, around 300-400% per year. That's the equivalent of a worker quitting every 3-4 months.

Our esteemed elected officials have huffed and puffed and managed to increase the national minimum wage to $7.25/ hour as if they have done us a huge favor. Although I am far removed from what one would label a bleeding heart liberal, try -- just try -- living on $7.25/ hour. Trust me, it ain't as easy as they'd lead you to believe.

Jobs such as these are horrible drudgery, and they will either completely and utterly disabuse you of your faith in humanity or instill in you both the patience of a saint and an unparalled tolerance for bullshit. Having worked several such jobs, I can say honestly that I have hovered uneasily somewhere in the middle of those two feelings, at times drifting dangerously close to the former. Let me state for the record that I unequivocally respect anyone who must slog through an 8 hour shift at one of these thankless, menial jobs on a daily basis in order to provide for themselves or a family.

Having done time (those words were carefully and deliberately chosen) in enough such establishments I recognize that they are all virtually the same under the skin. Oh, the products and services they offer might be different, but they are identical, by and large, in that the workers they employ tend to be extremely overworked, highly, underskilled, and woefully underpaid in relation to the amount of stress that they must endure. Fast food joints ... convenience stores are all remarkably similar in terms of the hierarchy and class-make up of the workers and in terms of the caliber of customers they serve.

Convenience stores are odd creatures, second only to fast food restaurants in employee turnover and exquisitely low rates of pay. They are unusual also in that they seemingly exist ONLY for themselves (or rather for their corporate parents), simply to make a profit. They serve no greater good. They provide no product or service that cannot be found elsewhere -- and usually at a substantially more affordable price. I speak from the heart (and from experience) when I tell you that I honestly believe that about the only job worse than being a clerk in a convenience store is being the jizz mopper in an adult theater (thank you, Kevin Smith; I have been waiting years to use that line ... true as it is).

As I said, I speak from experience (the clerk thing, NOT the jizz mopper thing), some of it fairly recent. In my lifetime (both before & after I opened my own business and managed a few others) I have worked behind the counter of a video store, a bagel shop, a home and garden center, a beer distributor, a movie theater (NOT, I stress again, of the adult variety), and TWO convenience stores. That qualifies me to speak with some authority on the subject. Futhermore, that experience helped shape my approach to managing people and to running a business.

So what is all of this about? Why should literally everyone be made to do these jobs if they're so bad? That is exactly the point: EVERYONE needs to do something like this as an adult precisely BECAUSE these jobs are so unrewarding and diffucult. They are tedious, extremely stressful and nerve wracking with little or no reward. The hours are long. Frequently the employees are treated as little more than mindless robots, cattle, or derelicts who cannot do any better for themselves. They are treated this way by customers and employers alike. I call these low wage-long hours-high stress-little or no reward-minimal room for advancement jobs "vampires" because they will suck the life out of you and darken your soul if you allow them to.

EVERYONE needs to experience this because it is humbling. EVERYONE who employs anyone especially needs to go through it first hand ... as should EVERYONE who intends to one day manage others. These jobs are a great training ground to develop respect, humility, discipline, resistance to adversity, and the ability to shoulder a ton of shit and smile while doing it. Even those who started out hard-scrabble, clawed their way to the top and struck gold need to wade back into the trenches from time to time for a refresher lest they forget their roots.

After all, part of the Mindful Journey is being as Mindful of others as we are of ourselves.